Thursday, May 21, 2009
Dear Dalikrab Letter From Darren Olsen
I am typing this all with my pinky fingers, and that is is
no lie. Okay, so now I'm tired of it and I give that a
raspberry. I spit on pinky fingers that are my own.
I am hip to the Dali Krab. He sings to me in supermarket
aisles as I waltz around food to Led Zeppelin tunes played
over the overhead speakers next to the cameras for for finer
scrutiny of all shoppers. It makes them feel like just like
home except for me.
I will go to a thrift shop to find the best plate to be all
smashed to crap. Either that, or I will have my brother get
me one since he lives next to a thrift shop.
I will buy canned Krab only to leave it on a bus stop for
to liberate HIS spirit. Someone will eat of it. Maybe they
will "Feel the Power!" Ah haha!
I will do my best of obtaining a pic of said oh canned
spirit Krab sitting on a bus stop bench just waiting. And
waiting, and waiting, waiting until the bus comes. I don't
think HE will have the correct change however since I think
the Dali Krab is from Norway. He hangs with the his most
esteemed Holiness, The King Herring.
Lots of parties, women, mall openings, and software
development releases like: "Grand Herring III, Fishes
revenge". So a little bat told me.
Yours insanely,
no lie. Okay, so now I'm tired of it and I give that a
raspberry. I spit on pinky fingers that are my own.
I am hip to the Dali Krab. He sings to me in supermarket
aisles as I waltz around food to Led Zeppelin tunes played
over the overhead speakers next to the cameras for for finer
scrutiny of all shoppers. It makes them feel like just like
home except for me.
I will go to a thrift shop to find the best plate to be all
smashed to crap. Either that, or I will have my brother get
me one since he lives next to a thrift shop.
I will buy canned Krab only to leave it on a bus stop for
to liberate HIS spirit. Someone will eat of it. Maybe they
will "Feel the Power!" Ah haha!
I will do my best of obtaining a pic of said oh canned
spirit Krab sitting on a bus stop bench just waiting. And
waiting, and waiting, waiting until the bus comes. I don't
think HE will have the correct change however since I think
the Dali Krab is from Norway. He hangs with the his most
esteemed Holiness, The King Herring.
Lots of parties, women, mall openings, and software
development releases like: "Grand Herring III, Fishes
revenge". So a little bat told me.
Yours insanely,
One Sided Interview By Darren Olsen
A one sided interview, if you will.
Just who is this "Dalikrab" Is he/she/it the reincarnation
of many Krabs that have met their match at a processing
plant only to end up in a can on a supermarket shelf?
If so, can we find 'Ultimate Spirituality" in a can?
Do we have to smash plates on "Dalikrab Day"?
If we can find Ultimate Spirituality in a can? And when we
have no plates after smashing all of them, what do we do to
consume our leader? I don't think paper plates would be
fitting for such a high spiritual leader.
Is fake Krab as good as real Krab on this holy occasion?
Are the Red Sox going to win another World Series?
Do I really need "Just for Men" hair coloring?
We really want to know out here in Kalifornia before we don
robes and dance around in airports while waving canned
"Krab" at people.
I guess I'll light my hair on fire as usual, and wrap
myself in the "suit of many Christmas lights" just to be on
the safe side. That, and I think I'll vacuum the house.
Ammonia D (my rap moniker)
aka Darren
Just who is this "Dalikrab" Is he/she/it the reincarnation
of many Krabs that have met their match at a processing
plant only to end up in a can on a supermarket shelf?
If so, can we find 'Ultimate Spirituality" in a can?
Do we have to smash plates on "Dalikrab Day"?
If we can find Ultimate Spirituality in a can? And when we
have no plates after smashing all of them, what do we do to
consume our leader? I don't think paper plates would be
fitting for such a high spiritual leader.
Is fake Krab as good as real Krab on this holy occasion?
Are the Red Sox going to win another World Series?
Do I really need "Just for Men" hair coloring?
We really want to know out here in Kalifornia before we don
robes and dance around in airports while waving canned
"Krab" at people.
I guess I'll light my hair on fire as usual, and wrap
myself in the "suit of many Christmas lights" just to be on
the safe side. That, and I think I'll vacuum the house.
Ammonia D (my rap moniker)
aka Darren
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