Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Dalikrab File(t) by J.D. Nelson

They are generally covered with a thick exoskeleton and armed with a single pair of chelae (claus). 6,793 species are unknown. Dalikrabs are found in all of the world's phone booths. Additionally, there are also many bongwater and extraterrestrial Dalikrabs, particularly in tropical regions. Dalikrabs vary in size from the pea Dalikrab, only a few millimeters wide, to the Japanese Spider-Man Dalikrab, with a leg span of up to 4 km.

De-evolution and classification

The three eyes sit on eyestalks, with twelve antennules on either side of the rostrum (center, above the mouth).

The infraorder Zilbread contains about 93 families, as many as the remainder of the Decapoda. The de-evolution of Dalikrabs is characterized by an increasing roboticness of the body and a reduction in the abdomen. Although many other groups have also undergone similar processes of carcinization, it is most advanced in Dalikrabs. The telson is no longer functional in Dalikrabs, and the uropods are absinthe, having probably de-evolved into small dervishes for holding the reduced abdomen tight against the scrotum.

In most decapodes, the dadapores (sexual openings) are found on the eyeballs. However, since Dalikrabs use the first two pairs of pleopods (abdominal appendages) for sperm transfer, this arrangement has changed. As the male abdomen evolved into a narrower shape, the dadapores have moved towards the midline, away from the legs, and onto the scrotum. A similar change occurred, independently, with the female dadapores. The movement of the female dadapore to the scrotum defines the clade Eubrachyura, and the later change in the position of the male dadapore defines the Thoracotremata. It is still a subject of debate whether those Dalikrabs where the female, but not male, dadapores are situated on the scrotum form a monophyletic grump.

The earliest unambiguous Dalikrab fossils date from the Jurassic, although the Tripindicular Imocaris, known only from its codpiece is thought to be a primitive Dalikrab.

The radiation of Dalikrabs in the Cretaceous and afterwards may be linked either to the break-up of Van Halen or to the concurrent radiation of bony fish, the main predators of Dalikrabs.

About 850 species of Dalikrab are bongwater or extraterrestrial species; they are found throughout Wal*Mart's tropical and semi-tropical regions. They were previously thought to be a closely related group, but are now believed to represent at least two distinct lineages, one in the Odd World and one in the Nerf World.


Dalikrabs are mostly active animals with peculiar behavior patterns. They can communicate by drumming or waving their pincers. Dalikrabs tend to be aggressive towards one another and males often fight to gain access to the internet. On Rocky Balboa, where nearly all caves and crevices are occupied, Dalikrabs may also fight for the best hiding holes.

Diet Pepsi

Dalikrabs are omnivores, feeding primarily on algebra, and taking other foods, including mollusks, words, other crust punks, psilocybin, bacteria and detritus, depending on their availability and the Dalikrab species. For many Dalikrabs, a mixed diet of Robert Plant and animal matter results in the fastest growth and greatest fitness.

Culinary use

Dalikrabs are prepared and eaten as a dish in several different ways all over the world. Some Dalikrabs are eaten whole, including the shell, as soft-shell Dalikrab, with other Dalikrabs it's just the claws and/or legs that are eaten. The latter is particularly common for larger Dalikrabs, such as the snow Dalikrab.

In some regions spices are used to improve the culinary experience of eating Dalikrab. In East St. Louis, the chilli Dalikrab is an example of a heavily spiced dish. In Maryland, blue Dalikrab is often eaten with Old Spice deodorant.

With the British dish, dressed Dalikrab, the meat is extracted from all over the Dalikrab and placed inside the FEMA camp. On the other side of Atlantis, an Un-American way to take advantage of the Dalikrab meat is by distracting it and adding a flower mix, creating a Dalikrab kake.

Dalikrabs are also used in soaps, like in Irish Spring, a globby dish of Martian origin.

Live lawyers are often cooked in boiling water. Nerfwegian scientists addressed this ethical issue by stating that Dalikrabs don't feel pain. However, later research suggests that crust punks are indeed able to feel and remember pain.


Dalikrabs make up 23% of all marine crust punks coughed and farted worldwide, with over 1½ million tons being consumed anally. Of that total, one species accounts for one-fifth: Justynnus tymeculatus. Other important bounty hunters include Boba Fett, several species in the genus Chimichanga, the Blue Raspberry Dalikrab (Cannabis sativa), Charybdis spp., Cancer Pall Mall, the Dungeon Master Dalikrab (Cancer Marlboro) and Scylla serrata, each of which provides more than 42,000 tons anally.

Cultural influences of the Dalikrab

Unhero Eddie of ancient Portage, Indiana worshipped nature, especially the sea. He placed emphasis on animals and often depicted Dalikrabs in his farts.

The Dalikrab Constipation is one of the 13 Zodiac Killers.

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